Heart Notes: week 8

Lately I’ve had this quiet feeling I can’t quite explain.

I don’t know exactly what is shifting yet, but something feels like it’s changing for our family. Almost like we’re standing right at the edge of a new season. I can’t fully see it yet, it still feels a little cloudy, but I can feel it.

For a long time it has felt like we’ve been planted in this really stretching season. A lot of waiting. A lot of learning how to live in the middle of the unknown. A lot of holding hope while also living very practically inside of medical realities.

But recently something inside me has started to stir. Like we’re beginning to outgrow the season we’ve been in. It feels so good to dream again. To feel like I have the space to.

Romi had a doctor’s appointment last week that left me thinking about her care in a new way. Nothing dramatic happened, but it nudged something in my heart. The sense that maybe we’re meant to explore something different for her. I don’t know what that looks like yet, but it’s been sitting with me. We’re praying about it. Listening. Paying attention to the small nudges. And praying for more.

Sometimes the beginning of change doesn’t come with a clear plan. Sometimes it just starts with a stirring. And if I’m honest, I think some of that stirring is happening in me too.

For a long time my world has revolved around survival mode, medical appointments, managing care, making sure everyone else is okay. That season shaped me in ways I’ll always carry. But lately I’ve felt this gentle invitation to rediscover parts of myself again too.

The things I love.

The things that make me feel alive.

The parts of me that exist outside of being a mom navigating complex medical life.

I’m realizing that stepping into something new for our family might also mean stepping into something new personally.

Sharing more of what I love.

Exploring creativity again.

Letting myself grow alongside my kids instead of waiting for life to calm down first.

It’s a strange place to be, feeling ready for change while still not knowing exactly what it will look like.

But there’s also something really hopeful about it.

Almost like standing outside right before the weather changes. You can feel it in the air before you can see it.

That’s where we are right now.

And for the first time in a while, the unknown doesn’t just feel heavy.

It feels a little exciting too.