Weekly heart notes: Week 5

Notes to myself this week

I wrote this to myself this week. What I felt like the Holy Spirit was laying on my heart to say to myself. It has been a heavy few weeks. I still smile. I still laugh. But deep down, I am really struggling. So, here it is.

It is ok if joy feels quieter right now. It hasn’t left you. It’s just sitting beside your grief.

You are not responsible for fixing your dad’s outcome (he has cancer and had a big appointment this week). Your job is simply to love him.

Feeling isolated does not mean you are alone. It means you need connection.

Your heaviness is proof of how deeply you care.

God is not asking you to be bright. He is asking you to stay close.

Who are you letting see this part of you? The heavy part? Not the “I’m fine” version, but the “my chest hurts” version?

You do not have to carry this quietly.

Tonight, don’t try to manufacture joy. Just sit in something soft. Maybe light a candle. Maybe cry. Maybe put your hand on your chest and say, “Lord, this is heavy.” That’s prayer too.

You are a daughter.

You are a mother.

You are a wife.

You are human.

And your heart is allowed to ache.