Weekly heart notes: Week 6

This week started with a lot of hope.

For a brief moment, it felt like we were catching a rhythm again. Romi even went to dance class twice and for those moments, I felt comfortable letting her be there, enjoying life outside our routine.

But yesterday she started throwing up. And this morning, when it happened again, my nervous system went into overdrive. My body feels like it’s shutting down, my mind racing, trying to stay focused and calm while worry takes over.

I feel helpless at times, unsure what I can do to truly help her. Where do we go from here? How do I protect her fragile body while still letting her live?

It’s hard because she was doing so well, even briefly. And now the fear of her getting sick again, and her little body not being able to handle it, weighs heavy.

Still, I remind myself that love isn’t always about fixing. Sometimes it’s about holding steady. Being present. Letting her know she is safe. One breath. One choice. One moment at a time.

I want to keep hope alive. I want to hang on to the good moments, Romi laughing, moving, participating.. without immediately anticipating when they might end. Even when fear tries to take over, I want to let the joy be present now, not just brace for what might come next.

And even in the hard moments, I try to notice the small signs of grace: a deep breath, a calm moment, a hand held. They remind me that hope is always possible, even when the path feels uncertain.